When Others Dismiss You, What Do You Do?

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Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 NIV

“This hobbit was a very well-to-do hobbit, and his name was Baggins. The Bagginses had lived in the neighbourhood of The Hill for time out of mind, and people considered them very respectable, not only because most of them were rich, but also because they never had any adventures or did anything unexpected: you could tell what a Baggins would say on any question without the bother of asking him. This is a story of how a Baggins had an adventure and found himself doing and saying things altogether unexpected. He may have lost the neighbours’ respect, but he gained—well, you will see whether he gained anything in the end.” (from The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien)

J.R.R. Tolkien opened our imaginations to adventure. One thing we learned about Bilbo Baggins was that as long as he lived according to Hobbit expectations, all was fine. However, when he went on his great adventure with Gandalf, everything changed.

 Tolkien experienced a similar kind of rejection after he was nominated by his good friend C.S. Lewis for the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1961. Lewis believed his friend showed a unique, imaginative scope and depth in storytelling that deserved acknowledgment. Unfortunately, the Nobel Prize committee didn’t agree and rejected the nomination, stating that “Tolkien’s storytelling lacked the literary quality required for the prize.” Tolkien may not have matched others’ expectations, but he kept doing what he did best: writing. He became known as the “father” of modern fantasy literature and is considered one of the most influential authors of all time.

When others dismiss you, what do you do? You look for God’s view. When Samuel the prophet was given the task of anointing the next king of Israel after Saul failed, he first looked at the outward appearance of the sons of Jesse. “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.”  Wrong! God told Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (I Samuel 16:7)

Fernando Mendoza faced 130 rejections before finally being signed by Cal University as a third-string quarterback. When a transfer was brought in to compete for his position, he entered the transfer portal and moved to Indiana University, the losingest program in college football history. That all changed Monday night when Mendoza led Indiana University to its first national championship and undefeated season.

When others dismiss you, what do you do? You find God’s confidence to stand firm. The Psalmist understood that only in God do we have the confidence to withstand the rejections of others. “When hard pressed, I cried to the LORD; he brought me into a spacious place. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.” (Psalm 118: 5-7 NIV)

“Never mind if you think you are unable to take another step, for either he will strengthen you to make you able, or he will call a sudden halt, and you will not have to take it at all.” (Frances Ridley Havergal)

When others dismiss you, what do you do? Keep your focus on God. Our darkest hours are often just moments away from when God will do His greatest work. The Book of Genesis offers a glimpse of God’s work in Joseph’s life. Joseph’s journey—from the favorite son to the despised brother, then sold into slavery, falsely accused, imprisoned, interpreter of dreams, and eventually becoming a prime minister—culminates with him as the rescuer of a nation. At any point, Joseph could have made his life easier by choosing a different path. Yet he chose to stay focused on God and was able to end his story by saying, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” Gen 50:20.

“All the good that you will do will come not from you but from the fact that you have allowed yourself to be used by God’s love. Think of this more, and gradually you will be free from the need to prove yourself, and you can be more open to the power that will work through you without your knowing it.” Thomas Merton

When others dismiss you, what do you do? Make sure your identity is firmly rooted in Jesus Christ. Paul was a no-exception rule-keeping religionist until the day he finally encountered living grace. From that day on, there was no mistaking that Paul’s identity was rooted in Jesus. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

The answer to everything we need, every answer we seek, every problem we must overcome is from our identity rooted in Jesus. “God is not a retailer dispensing grace to us in doses. God is not measuring out some patience to the impatient, some love to the unloving, some meekness to the proud in quantities that we take and work on as a kind of capital. God has given only one gift to meet all our need—His Son, Christ Jesus. As I look to Him to live out His life in me, He will be humble and patient and loving and everything else I need—in my stead… (Watchman Nee)

Father, because I am in Christ Jesus, I have everything I need regardless of what others may think or say. I place my trust in you to work out your plans in my life. I take my hands off, letting you have full control. “I will run after you with delight in my heart.” My soul delights in you.

God is great!

Choosing Wisely

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Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7 NIV

“Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard.

Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard.

Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard.

Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Pick Wisely.”

I appreciate the effort of this wannabe philosopher who came up with this little capsule of truth. I can’t acknowledge the author because I don’t know who wrote it, but we could all add a few lines to the meme. We can add our own “hard” to create a new line or two.

We seldom get to choose our hard; they come to us. Ann Hodges simply wanted a nap, but instead she gained notoriety as the only person documented as being struck by a meteorite. Little did she know that when she lay down on her couch over Sylacauga, Alabama, on November 30, 1954, a meteorite was falling through the sky.

The fragment crashed through her roof, leaving a three-foot hole, bounced off the family’s radio, and hit Mrs. Hodges. The meteorite fragment left a bruise on her upper thigh and caused years of emotional trauma. The piece is now on display in an exhibit at the Alabama Museum of Natural History and is known as the Hodges Fragment. Just for some random information, scientists estimate that more than 50,000 meteorites have hit Earth; you just never know.

 I don’t think you need to put getting hit by a meteorite in your hard category, since you have only a 1 in several million chance of being hit. However, you will face hard. So how do you choose which hard? What do you do when the hard times come? Life is always about choices, what we will do, what we will not do, and it all depends upon you.

You can handle the “hard” on your own. You choose your response by copying what others do, what you think you should do, or how you’ve always dealt with “hard” choices. What we find when we do it ourselves is that it doesn’t always work.

 Jesus knew a few things about making wise decisions when faced with difficult choices. He told his disciples and now shares this truth with us: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Choosing wisely requires a dependable source. Trust God. He will guide. In Proverbs, we are reminded to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (3:5-6)

Choosing wisely requires more than we possess. Ask God for wisdom. James reminds us that “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (1:5)

Choosing wisely requires knowing whom you will serve. Joshua reminds us that when faced with a choice of whom to serve, he knows exactly whom to serve. “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15)

Choosing wisely requires knowing we are not alone. David reminds us that “The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing…He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23: 1,3-4)

We will face competing choices on which “hard” to make. When we face difficult choices about which “hard” to choose, it is good to know we have a God who listens and cares for us. God is more than willing to help us navigate the options to choose the best outcome. Howard Thurman’s wise saying from Meditations of the Heart beautifully expresses our dependence upon God.

Open unto me—light for my darkness.

Open unto me—courage for my fear.

Open unto me—hope for my despair.

Open unto me—peace for my turmoil.

Open unto me—joy for my sorrow.

Open unto me—strength for my weakness.

Open unto me—wisdom for my confusion.

Open unto me—forgiveness for my sins.

Open unto me—love for my hates.

Open unto me—thyself for myself.

Lord—Lord, open unto me!

Amen. (Meditations of the Heart: LORD, Open Unto Me)

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

God is great!

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Leftover Resolutions

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Help me turn my eyes away from illusions so that I pursue only that which is true; drench my soul with life as I walk in your paths. Psalm 119:37 TPT

How’s your New Year’s resolution holding up? If you made a resolution, then you are in good company. Pew Research estimates that three in ten adults made a 2026 resolution, and Stagwell, a digital marketing company, increases that number to 42%. The most common resolutions are to exercise more, be happier, eat healthier, improve physical health, and save money. All noble resolutions!

However, you are also in good company if you have already broken your resolution. The University of Scranton estimates that only 8-9% actually keep their resolutions. There is an unofficial holiday, Quitter’s Day, observed on the 2nd Friday of January, when people give up on their resolutions. This year, Quitter’s Day was on January 9.

Resolutions can be helpful if they draw our attention to something in our lives. The problem is that resolutions, for the sake of resolutions, often fail. We all intend to keep our resolutions, so why do we often fail? The reasons are probably just as diverse as the resolutions: lack of time, busy schedules, conflicting interests, too complicated, or simply one more task to do. Whatever the reason, we tend to move on to something else.

I didn’t observe Quitter’s Day this year because I didn’t make any resolutions. However, I did decide on my defining word for the year. Last year’s word was space—not outer space, but inner space. My desire was to create space within my soul for God, and from it flowed what truly mattered.

This year, I chose the word “Sacred.” I realize that everything I do should be sacred, which for me means honoring God in how I use my time, energy, money, writing, social media, and life itself. The key verse for me is found in Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (NIV)

Life is often described as a contrast between the sacred and the secular, creating a divide between God and our world. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines sacred as “set apart for the service or worship of deity,” and secular as “not sacred or ecclesiastical.”

This past week, one of my favorite writers admitted to an eight-year affair involving infidelity. His work helped a generation understand and live a grace-filled life. I felt disappointment, frustration, and a bit of shock. At first, I thought it was just an AI-generated hoax. Lisa Whittle of Relevant Magazine said it well, “We can be sad and mad at this, but it shouldn’t cause us to lose faith in God. God had nothing to do with this. People can be a Christian and sin. People can be a spiritual leader and sin. Secret sin kills everyone around us. It’s time to take it seriously.”

This writer may have had good intentions to be faithful and made all the resolutions to stay true, but somewhere along the way, he failed to keep his first commitment to honor God. My heart grieves for another voice lost because of his failure to stay true to God’s way, but even more for his wife, family, the church, and those outside the community of faith who only see another Jesus follower fail.

I don’t think Jesus was overly concerned with making resolutions, but he was concerned with how we live and where our focus should be. When asked what the greatest commandment is, Jesus answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37) That keeps everything in focus!

This week’s failure was not the first, nor, unfortunately, will it be the last. Nonetheless, what is certain is that God’s grace, love, and faithfulness continue. I offer this prayer, worded by Sarah Yardley, to encourage us:

“Christ, have mercy. Keep me holy. Keep me humble.

Expose my unrepentant sin. Convict me of thoughts, desires, behaviors that could shatter my soul and destroy my credibility.

Give me friends who speak to me boldly, clearly, calling me to a deeper holiness. Make me this kind of friend to others. Thank you for the companions who have walked with me all my life with honest, holy love. Let me hate patterns of sin and deeply love people in my life. Christ came for sinners, and I am one.

Break my heart for the layers and depths of the hell we choose when we betray hearts, bodies, lives. I grieve the heartache, despondency, disillusionment, pain. Christ, who entered that hell and took captivity captive, have mercy. Enter into the places that feel like hell today. Lead captives into freedom.

Let the name on my lips be Jesus; the only true hero, the one who is always faithful. Spirit of God, make me more like Jesus. Do not let me delight in sin or deride it casually. Give me holy grief and deep compassion.

Jesus, Keep me holy, Keep me humble, Keep my heart close to you.

God is great!