Doubt Mixed with Hope

We have seen the Lord! But (Thomas) said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe” …Jesus came (and to Thomas) “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe” …Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:28-29

Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Matthew 28:16-17

I can’t do that! I will never be able to climb to the top! I’m afraid! I will never believe that unless I see it! The word doubt is defined as: “To be uncertain or skeptical about; be undecided about. To tend to disbelieve; distrust.” Have you ever doubted? You are not alone since research shows 85% of people suffer from self-doubt. According to management expert Jamie Taets, “So many times, we compare our potential and confidence to those around us, yet they too are doubting themselves.”

Barna, in a similar study, shared that two-thirds of Christians face doubt. Spiritual doubt has been a reality for many on their Christian faith journey through the years. Yet as Selwyn Hughes writes, “Those who doubt most, and yet strive to overcome their doubts, turn out to be some of Christ’s strongest disciples.”

I have lost count of the times I used the famous chair illustration for faith.  This is the one that says you can believe the chair exists but only if you sit in it will you have faith that the chair will hold you up. I did modify the illustration a bit after our old reliable rocking chair didn’t hold up. When Courtney was a baby, I believed the chair that I had used daily for months would hold us up.  However, while rocking one night, the chair broke apart! Thankfully, neither baby nor Daddy was hurt. However, it did instill in me a healthy doubt as I sit down in future rocking chairs! Writer Michael Novak says that “doubt is not so much a dividing line that separates people into different camps as it is a razor’s edge that runs through every soul.”

Since Easter, as I have focused on several post-resurrection stories, I have been greatly impacted by Thomas. Growing up in church I can’t guess the number of references to Thomas as “doubting Thomas.” The term has even been used as a put-down for someone’s lack of faith. Does Thomas really deserve the title?

We are not given lots of details about Thomas but what we are given is life-changing. We know he was a loyal and trustworthy disciple of Jesus. When the other disciples tried to convince Jesus not to return to Bethany after Lazarus died, it was Thomas who boldly said, “Let us also go,” even if it was said with a tinge of fear, “that we may die with him.” (John 11:16)

Thomas’ questioning doubt around the final Passover meal allowed Jesus to share a critical truth about himself. “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

Thomas’s defining moment was recorded by John. The other disciples were all together behind a locked door out of fear, but not Thomas. John doesn’t tell us where Thomas was that evening but we know he wasn’t in the room behind a locked door out of fear. I am sure that Jesus’ resurrection created a lot of drama and excitement in the community. There was no telling how the story was being told and retold since Resurrection morning. We now live in an age of instant access to news and information, but even so, it is often distorted. Like us, Thomas probably thought, What can I really believe?

Thomas was confronted with the disciple’s story about seeing Jesus. What would you have said? Thomas had doubt, but that doubt was mixed with hope and faith. If this was not the case, he wouldn’t have said, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25) “I believe and I doubt. I hope and I fear. I pray and I waver. I ask and I worry. I believe; help my unbelief.” (the Doubter’s Prayer-John Ortberg)

Doubt would have dismissed the disciple’s claim outright but hope leaves room for faith to work. Lesslie Newbigin writes, “Believing everything uncritically is the road to disaster. The faculty of doubt is essential. But as I have argued, rational doubt always rests on faith and not vice versa. The relationship between the two cannot be reversed.”

Doubt when rightly pursued creates a healthy soul and future. However, if doubt takes control of one’s life, it creates a paralyzed soul, keeping us stuck at that moment and unable to handle new risks and challenges. “Faith is a footbridge that you don’t know will hold you up over the chasm until you’re forced to walk out onto it.” –Nicholas Wolterstorff

You can almost feel the tension that evening as Jesus walks through the locked door again and greets his disciples, “Peace be with you!” He then slowly and methodically turns to Thomas with outstretched hands. Do you need more proof, Thomas? John doesn’t say but I can only picture Thomas falling on his knees before Jesus with tears streaking his face as he made his powerful declaration of faith, “My Lord and my God!”

Thomas left the room a changed follower of Jesus. I am sure Thomas still had questions because inquiring minds always have questions. Yet he takes Jesus’ gentle reprimand to heart as he shared the hope of Jesus, according to tradition, as the first missionary to India. Can you see Thomas smiling as he remembers Jesus’ words, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed”?

God is great!

“Be merciful to those who doubt” –Jude 22