Planting Seeds of Grace with Our Words

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. James 3:5-6 The Message

Sticks and stones may break my bones

But words will never hurt me

Whoever came up with this children’s rhyme in the early 1800s could never have imagined the 2020s when someone using a couple of clicks on their computer could devastate another person.  This little ditty was never true even in the 1800s and now even less. I am also certain that most of us have been hurt with unintentional and a few intentional negative and hateful words in our lifetime. However, the rise of social media comment toxicity has created a whole new dimension in our digitally connected world. No longer are the words thrown at us from the kids we know on the playground but the vast majority of toxic comments come from people who hide behind a hedge of anonymity.

The stranger’s hateful comments hurt but the ones that carry the most sting are from Christians. Michael Hidalgo wrote an article in Relevant magazine called, “When Did Christians Get So Mean?” James Emery White shared a similar line of thought in his recent podcast called, “On Why Christians Are So Mean.” Hidalgo writes, “Few things embolden us to say unkind things more than a computer keyboard. Many men and women type mean slanderous emails and comments. They come out so fast their finger scan barely keep up with the toxic words that appear before them on the screen.”

The rise of toxicity among those outside the church is alarming but within the church family, I would call it scandalous. White said in his podcast, “A lack of grace is a significant contributor to this problem, which is ironic as grace is what makes the Christian faith so distinct from other world religions.”  Paul, of all people, understood the word, grace. In his letter to the believers in Colossae, he wrote, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:6 NIV)

“If our words are to be filled with grace it demands we give a gift to others every time we speak or write words. And too many of us are not crazy about giving grace to others, because something in each of us knows grace is expensive. If we are to speak words full of grace it costs us something.” (Michael Hidalgo)

Christians are known as passionate people of faith which is a good thing. However, taken to the extreme, it is easy to take a 15-second video clip out of an hour’s presentation to pounce on another follower of Christ or speak before we have listened or sought to only win an argument. James reminded us and is very relevant in our instantaneous media culture, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20 NIV)

Long before our digital world, Dietrich Bonhoeffer gave some helpful insight to ponder before we share our opinions or reply in the comment section. “Your life as a Christian should make non-Believers question their disbelief in God.” James somehow knew we would need to be reminded that “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” (James 3:9-10) I would be surprised if at some point you haven’t been upset over a story or an event that happened. Did your reply “make non-Believers question their disbelief in God?” Did you extend grace to someone you didn’t agree with?

Is your goal to win the argument or help plant seeds of truth? Just remember “The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction.” (Prov 16:21 NIV)

Is your goal to blast the other person’s idea or create dialogue? Just remember “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Prov 16:24 NIV)

Is your goal to unload anger or recreate the story? Just remember “A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings.” (Prov 25:11 CSB)

Dale Carnegie said it well “Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind of words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” However, I think that Paul’s writing to Titus gives us even more insight into using words wisely, “to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” (Titus 3:2 NIV)

Unfortunately, you can’t stop the mean-spirited comments on Social Media, blogs, or news stories but as followers of Jesus, hopefully, the unbelieving world will not find us the authors of the comments. Yes, we will passionately share ideas and opinions but we let our words “encourage one another and build each other up.” (I Thess 5:11))

Planting seeds of grace in every conversation!

God is great!

Connie and I are in Kenya for two weeks on a mission trip with our church. I am reposting a previous article. In this toxic period of political campaigning, I pray we will use our words wisely and with grace. Words have power, use them wisely.