Where’s Dad?

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 NLT

The years have not faded the vivid, exciting, and life-changing memory of holding my first-born son after his birth. There was an overwhelming joy and raw emotion as I cradled this tiny body in my arms. These same feelings would be duplicated twice again with my daughters’ births. Fatherhood! Questions flooding my mind: Will I be a good father? What if I get it wrong? Yet trusting in God’s grace and help to be a father.  Perfect? Far from it. Mistakes enough to go to the moon and back.

Sunday marked Father’s Day in America. As we celebrate Father’s Day every year, it draws attention to the role of the Father in our families and society. This is a role that is changing rapidly since the nation’s first Father’s Day on June 19, 1910.

Unfortunately, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 1 in 4 children live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home.  I use the word unfortunate since research shows that a father’s absence affects children in numerous ways according to the National Fatherhood Initiative.

A 2019 study by the Pew Research Center showed that the United States has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households out of 130 countries and territories. It is hard enough to be a two-parent household so the challenges and burdens for single-parent homes are greatly multiplied.

It takes only minutes to read daily about the world’s influence on our children’s lives. According to The Center for Family Justice, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they reach 18; more than four children die each day because of child abuse and approximately 70% of children that die from abuse are under the age of four. Just this past week, an Illinois man was charged with the murders of his three young children, ages 5, 3, and 2.

An article in the Atlantic Magazine titled “The One Parenting Decision That Really Matters” lists numerous factors on successful parenting but the bottom line comes down to where you raise your child. In essence:  Location. Location. Location.

However, I would agree with the long-time pastor as well as father and grandfather James Emery White in his response to the article, “If all you care about is worldly accomplishment, then perhaps one factor might be where you raise your child. But if you run a bit deeper than that, and care about the spiritual formation of your child-values, beliefs, behaviors, faith—then it’s not about where you raise your child, but who you are as a parent as you raise your child.”

Professor Christian Smith from the University of Notre Dame just released the findings of a detailed research project on the importance of parents’ impact on the religious development of their children. In his book, Handing Down the Faith: How Parents Pass Their Religion on to the Next Generation, he details how parents are the most successful and influential part of their kids adopting the Christian faith compared to other influences.

Professor Smith writes; “Some readers might be surprised to know that the single most powerful causal influence on the religious lives of American teenagers and young adults is the religious lives of their parents.”  Not their peers, not the media, not their youth group leaders or clergy, not their religious school teachers.”

The research shows that no one has to be a super-Christian. Parents simply have to live out their faith consistently, honestly, and consciously to impact their children. Dr. Smith continues that in their findings that the “role of fathers is especially important in forming children religiously” adding “both parents matter a lot in faith transmission, but the role of fathers appears to be particularly crucial.”

Father’s Day might be a good time to read Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus again but with a focus on the father part. In this letter, Paul gave men some challenging instructions on what it means to be a husband and father. A husband must love his wife just like Jesus did his church, even to the point of death. A father must love his children in a way that allows them to grow spiritually and emotionally healthy.

God set importance on the family structure to be a place where children are nurtured, taught, and equipped for life. “Parents are the greatest single evangelists for the gospel in the world and its greatest arena is the family.” (The Daily Citizen)

God’s worldview has always been greater than the size of our bank accounts, where we live, or the impact of our worldly influence. “Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power.” –Psalm 145:4

Lord, we need you. We need to become the fathers, mothers, and grandparents that will stand in the gap for the children of this world. We must pray against the darkness that seeks to destroy our children. We must pray that they will have tender hearts to hear your voice. May our children tell their children of your mighty acts because we were faithful in telling them of your mighty acts. Amen

God is great