Will the Real-Life Dad Stand Up

The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place. Deut 1:30-31

Who’s your favorite TV dad? The more seasoned TV watchers may come up with Jim Anderson of Father Knows Best or Ward Cleaver of Leave it to Beaver. Maybe you prefer the more unconventional dads such as Homer Simpson (The Simpsons), Phil Dunphy (Modern Family), Jack Pearson (This is Us), or Dan Conner (Roseanne and The Conners). Hollywood movies and Broadway plays have had their famous dads but somehow TV allows us to invite those dads into our homes weekly, where we can get to know them intimately. TV dads have been a staple within our homes since 1947 when Mary Kay and Johnny became the first sitcom broadcast in the United States.

TV allows us to sit under the words of wisdom that folksy Sheriff Andy Taylor shares with his son Opie while keeping the city of Mayberry safe, optimistic and fun-loving Herman Munster and his unorthodox family or Howard Cunningham as he deals with the unpredictable but lovable Fonzie. TV dads have been portrayed across a spectrum of personalities, characters, and mannerisms. However, the one thing all TV dads have in common, they are acting. Unfortunately, real-life dads don’t get a script nor are they able to walk off the set at the end of filming.

Father’s Day is a great opportunity to focus on the importance of real-life Fathers. Somewhere along the way, TV dads moved from the steady, even-tempered Jim Anderson of Father Knows Best and the homespun wisdom of Sheriff Andy Taylor in The Andy Griffin Show to the bumbling and inept dads featured in many modern sitcoms. The American Psychological Association in a 2021 study found a marked trend among top-rated, family-centered sitcoms from 1980 to 2017 showing fathers as “humorously foolish, showing poor judgment, being incompetent or acting childishly.”

A U.S. Census Bureau report shows 1 out of 4 children live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. Now not all of those 1 out of 4 dads chose to walk off the “set” but because of death or some other heartbreaking reason, they had to. Some of these homes probably shouldn’t be labeled fatherless since they have a father’s presence just in a different format. Yet for those truly fatherless homes, it has required a lot of brave Moms to start reading two scripts for the sake of their children.

The National Fatherhood Initiative labeled their findings as The Father Absence Crisis in America. Among some of the findings, fatherless homes result in 4x greater risk of poverty, 2x greater risk of infant mortality, 2x more likely to commit crime, 7x more likely to face abuse and neglect, 7x more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and 2x more likely to drop out of school. (Father Facts: Eighth Edition.)

Father’s Day is an excellent opportunity to refocus on God’s understanding and not on media entertainment’s portrayal of fathers.  God designed the role of father and mother with great consideration. “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.”  Psalm 103:13

God understood the importance of learning. “Listen, my son (daughter), to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” (Prov 1:8)

God understood the importance of home stability by including “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you,” (EX 20:12) in The Ten Commandments.

God understood how easily tempers could flare by encouraging “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph 6:4)

The writers who captured the words in our Bible thankfully didn’t just give us examples of wise, caring, have-it-all-together dads but threw in a good bunch of totally-blew-it dads. However, what the writers captured well was how God took the mistakes and recreated those broken stories into pictures of grace and redemption. God’s punishment was always interwoven with God’s expansive mercy. Father’s Day allows us to reflect on the failed stories, the winning stories, and everything else stories of fatherhood. It is out of God’s grace, they can become stories of forgiveness, redemption, gratitude, and hope.

Jesus gave us a great Father’s Day story. He told the moving story of a father and his two sons. The parable gives hope if you find yourself watching for the son or daughter to return or the determination to keep pursuing and praying for the child who stayed home but out of selfish motives. When the broken and beaten son finally comes home, the father doesn’t meet him at the door with an I-told-you-so attitude “but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” (Luke 15) That’s grace and love!

The story shifts to the older brother. Instead of joining in the celebration, he angrily refused to come into the house. The father had the right, as a parent, to command him to come into the house but instead of using his father’s card, he got up and went outside to his son, not in anger but in compassion and mercy. “My son, the father said, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” That’s grace and love!

Economists estimate more than $1 billion is spent each year on Father’s Day gifts. Dads, though you will greatly appreciate and enjoy every gift, make sure you tell your child how much you love him or her. Let’s change how the media views dads, and how society views dads, and maybe together we can change the next Census Bureau report for the next generation! “And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.” (Malachi 4:6 CSB)

God is great!

Thank you for taking the time to read my weekly blog, I greatly appreciate you and pray these devotional blogs are an encouragement to you.